Lets start out with the basics, a DETOX and a CLEANSE are two different things. I’m no doctor, and I have no idea what I am talking about, but it would seem to me that you really can’t “detox” or detoxify your body in 3 or 5 or 10 or 15 or 21 or 30 days when we have been eating and drinking an smoking our ways to the body that we have over the course of a couple of decades. That just doesn’t make sense. Maybe I am wrong.
Now, a CLEANSE, a cleanse is something that you can talk me into. Not all the way of course, but it just doesn’t sound as extensive as the word detox does. In my mind, a cleanse, like what I’m talking about doing is just taking it easy on your body for a couple of days after going real hard over the course of the holiday weekend. We all know that most of what goes into our mouthes has a period of time that is in us, and then it is excreted through a multitude of ways out of our body. Most of what we eat, is bad for us…. but if you accept that it leaves your body (within a week) in an orderly fashion then you would think to accept that if you went totally healthy for a week, you would have cleansed yourself of all of the bad shit that was in your immediate gastrointestinal system, right?
I don’t know if that makes as much sense type out as it did in my head, but its late and that is what you are going to get.
Now, in the pursuit of full disclosure, I like a lot of us have been roped into doing some form or fashion of most if not all of the programs below. And its not that I don’t believe they work, I just think that they all play off of some assumptions that some lifestyle changes are being made in congestion with, so that to me, is what results in you dropping a couple of pounds and sleeping a little better and feeling lighter on your toes and ready to take on the world.
Just about every single detox, that I have ever heard of or seen, operates on the same basic tenants: eat lots of fruits and vegetables with every serving, get moving and active, sleep well, and drink lots of water. If you did that – and ate like shit – you would feel pretty damn good, trust me there was a time that my life was that – and I felt great. But then I stopped the working out thing and the wheels fell off after that.
Now, after all that is said, I still think a cleanse or a detox is good for you, especially after a holiday. We always eat too much or drink to much or have a couple too many servings over the course of the long weekend. Its good to reset. Its good to kick start eating healthier and / or working out…. all of that, so here are some options if you are into something like a detox and are up to it.
So, we will start with the Joe Cross, FAT SICK AND NEARLY DEAD options. He has a 3, 5, 10 and 15 day reboot detox for free.99 download on his website. Click on the image for the link:
Then there is the Detox Skinny Herb Tea Best natural Teatox that has FREE SHIPPING WORLDWIDE for all 28 day orders. I always see it on INSTAGRAM on the FITGIRLSWORLDWIDE page, but you can check it out online at detoxskinnyherbs.com
Detox Skinny Herb Teas are unique combination of two infusions which aim is to cleanse your body and speed up your metabolism. The result is healthier, beautiful body and unwanted weight loss. You will feel lighter, your metabolism will stabilize and you will have more energy. Skinny Detox Herbs will help you to achieve your dream silhouette quicker without exposing you to diet regime and hard physical training.
* I really don’t know how this one works other than if you just drink the tea and not eat much else?
SACRED HEART VEGETABLE SOUP DIET – www.livestrong.com
The Sacred Heart Vegetable Soup diet, also known as the Spokane Heart diet, the Cleveland Clinic diet, the Sacred Heart Memorial Hospital diet and the Miami Heart Institute diet, has no traceable point of origin. A popular myth surrounding its beginnings, says Diet.com, is as a quick weight loss, presurgery diet for obese patients.
The foundation of this diet plan is a vegetable soup you eat every day, although according to Diet.com, a variety of recipes list variations in the actual ingredients. In general, however, ingredients include stewed tomatoes, green onions, beef broth, a commercial chicken noodle soup mix, celery, green beans, carrots and green peppers. Allowed seasonings include salt, pepper, curry, parsley and Worcestershire sauce.
There are some pretty strict instructions on what you are supposed to eat, by the day, while you are consuming this soup for detox purposes… but basically you make this soup and you have to have it at least once a day and can eat as much of it as you like for meal time, but you need to mix in lots of fruit and water during the day as well.
Dr. Oz is heavy in the DETOX game and a big proponent of them and colonics (fucks that!) and you do some typing of detox in to the internets and he comes up pretty often. Here are a couple of his programs and suggestions for juice cleansing and getting started on a detox.
The New 3-Day Juice Cleanse – www.doctoroz.com
3-Day Jumpstart Cleanse Kit – www.doctoroz.com
If you want to go all out, here is the ORIGINAL Full Body Detox, created by ‘master herbalist’ Djehuty Ma’at-Ra
Djehuty’s famous Full Body Detox is the premiere and quintessential all-natural, safe and sane, and effective herbal cleansing regimen that cleanses all major eliminative channels and auxiliary organs in the body giving your body the necessary refreshing and rebooting it needs, just like a computer. – dhealthstore.com
* I’ve done this one and as you can tell by the picture (that I just took above) I have a set that I can do at any point if I wanted. This one is pretty intense and its no joke, but like I said before…. I don’t even believe in detox’s. I believe in what they stand for and I believe that they help you train your brain into performing better and making better choices, but at the end of the day, I think the whole detox thing is a low-key hustle.
Not only do I feel like that because there is a virtual cottage industry behind it, but because you never hear any actual medical doctors talking about it, and when they do, they say that a detoxification process for your body isn’t possible. Check out this answer from one of the menshealth.com doctors.
Q. IS THERE ANY POINT TO DETOX DIETS?:
You can put down that wheatgrass shot, Randy. Detox diets require you to complete a 3- to 21-day fast during which you consume only juice, water, and other fluids. By doing this, proponents of the diet claim, you cleanse your GI tract of chemicals and toxins, such as sugar, nicotine, and alcohol, that are stored in the intestines and colon. That theory is false.
“There is no scientifically proven reason to put yourself on a detox diet,” says Christine M. Palumbo, R.D., an adjunct faculty member at Benedictine University in Naperville, Illinois, as these so-called toxins do not accumulate in our GI tracts. “Mother Nature provides her own detoxification methods, and they work very well.” Good old-fashioned fiber rids your body of whatever waste you do accumulate, without any of the vitamin deficiency that can accompany a detox diet.
So, this is an interesting article from Mens Fitness dot com, 10 Simple Ways to Detox Without Dieting
So, there you have it… by all means look around and make a commitment to eating better for the next couple of days and letting the body on the inside take a breather for all that we put it through over the last couple of days, but beware – DETOXs are kind of bologna, but cleaning yourself from what has gone into your mouth over the last month or so and going into Christmas and New Years, makes a lot of sense