I had a wonderful back and forth with an ex girlfriend on facebook messenger a couple of days ago….
It went a little something like as follows. The conversation started at about 11.30p pacific time. I have to assume she may have had a wine or two in her at this point. Carry on:
(* Spoiler alert * It went EXACTLY like this *)
Her: I have a suggestion…
Me: Lay it on me
Her: First of all…you know I love you right??
Me: Uh oh..
Her: And that I would never say/do anything to hurt you?
Me: Yes J—–. I know you love me on some level
Her: On some level??
Anyway, I think you should let your hair grow a bit.
Me: Hm. That was NOT where I thought you were going with that.
I could grow it out. I was thinking about it actually. You talking baby fro or just a little early 2000s taper cut but long enough to use a comb. Ricky Bell style
Her: Def not RB, but your weight, Love. You need the baby fro to make your head bigger. Your body is too big for your head right now. Did I tell you that I really do love you? Lol!
I’m not one to talk about weight or head. Size. My dome is on the large size.
Me: I hear you loud and clear. I’m a fat ass.
You should have told me that. To lose weight.
Oh. Maaaaybe that’s really what you are telling me
Her: (Big smiley face emoji)
It’s not your size. Meat is good, but your head looks a little shrunk
Me: That picture is bad! I was at a kids bday party. Bad lighting. There was cake involved. Soda. Bad angle. I’m not that fat.
Her:Well it’s not a single pic
Her: It would be easier to grow out your hair
Me: I promise you. The next pictures you see of me, I won’t be a big boy. Growing hair is the easy route.
Her: I’m just being real and looking out for you
Her:Have a good night!!
* Yeop, this is my life….. keep in mind that we talk intermittently. Like once every two or three months. This came out of the blue. File this one under motivation. Fun times.